| A: | Masturbation is just touching yourself in any way that feels good, and since everybody's a little different, you must experiment to know what feels good for you. However, we can still recommend some common methods.
You've probably noticed yourself getting hot at certain times when you weren't trying. What was going on right before that happened? Maybe you were doing some physical movement, and your body just felt good and healthy. Notice the sensitive parts of your body?
Your nipples may have liked the way your blouse or the sheets of your bed rub against them. Cotton panties might feel better rubbing against your clitoris than panties made of synthetic blends.
What about your moods? Many people I know like to masturbate as a way of relieving tension, so they often get hot when they're feeling anxious, or have an excess of energy. On the other hand, other people often get hot when they're relaxed and feeling good.
Take a hand mirror, and examine your genitals. Notice your folds of skin, your outer and inner labia, and up at the top, your clitoral hood. Interesting stuff, yes?
Pull back your clitoral hood and check out your clitoris. Now, whenever you feel like the moment is right, lick your fingers and start exploring. What feels yummy?
A lot of people ask us if direct clitoral stimulation is a good or bad thing. Many women find that at first you'll prefer indirect stimulation, and then as you get hotter, may or may not enjoy direct stimulation. The only way to know is to try it out. Start just exploring the lips and folds of skin, then see what happens when you apply moving pressure up and down the channels on either side of your clitoral hood. Now stroke your clitoral hood, putting pressure on it to indirectly stimulate your clitoris.
Is your vagina producing its own lubricant yet? If not, you might either lick your fingers or apply some lube (You can buy commercial lubricant any pharmacy near the condoms).
If your vagina producing its own lubricant yet, taste your fingers. How does your natural lubricant taste? Does it make you hot to taste it or not?
What would happen if you stopped focusing on your genitals and started rubbing your nipples now? This is especially a good idea if you're feeling over stimulated at any point. What about your toes or your thighs or your lips?
And don't forget your butt! Your anal opening has lots of nerve endings and is very sensitive. Lots of people like being stimulated here, but use some caution -- you can take your fingers out of your pussy and insert them in your anus, but you can't take your fingers out of your anus and them insert them in your pussy! You'll get a yeast infection or urinary tract infection (UTI) if you do. The reason is, there all kinds of bacteria that's normally in your butt that shouldn't get into your vagina. Some folks will therefore put a condom, a "finger cot" (a finger condom), or latex gloves on their fingers before their anal stimulation, and then take it off before their vaginal stimulation with that hand. Or, use one hand for your butt and one hand for your vagina, as long as you don't confuse them...or touch your hands together.
If you're like most women, you'll eventually want to bring your attention back to your vagina as you find yourself becoming very aroused. You'll get into a rhythm that feels really good, and notice that a certain pressure, at a certain angle, on a certain set of specific points on your pussy produce the exact feeling you like best. Take your time and feel the energy rise in your body.
Are you building an expectation to cum now? Don't. Build an expectation of feeling good. You're learning now, and may or may not have your "big O" (orgasm) this time. And focusing on that specific goal can distract from your pleasure and make you inappropriately feel like a failure if you miss that goal.
Practice makes perfect, and the first time or the fifth time or the twentieth time you do this you'll probably cum. After that, your goal will be to replicate the experience by working your body the same way. After you do that, try making yourself cum by working your body a different way.
Don't forget toys! Many women like to insert other objects into their pussies or use vibrators to make themselves feel great. You can buy dildos (roughly penis-shaped objects to insert inside you) of various shapes and sizes, and some of them vibrate as well. Also very popular is the non-inserting kind of powerful vibrator found at many non-sex stores. For instance, the Hitachi Magic Wand is a popular "external" vibrator used by women all over the world. Note that plug-in vibrators tend to be more powerful vibration...and more reliably built...than battery-powered vibrators. For more toys, check out the options at Good Vibrations.
Soon you'll be ready to teach your partner the yummy new tricks you've learned! But remember this is just the beginning! It takes years of patience, hard work and study, so practice, practice, practice!
- Clitical.com - A good web site about female sexuality, including anatomy (with pictures), masturbation, and other sex topics
- Masturbation Liberation - Pamphlets and videos promoting female masturbation.
If you have questions about any of the above information, or would like to know
more, please call the San Francisco Sex Information switchboard at (415) 989-SFSI
(7374) or toll-free in the USA (877) 472-SFSI (7374). Our hours are Monday
through Friday from 3-9pm Pacific time (6pm-midnight Eastern time), and now we have limited Saturday hours too. Find out more about calling us.
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